Going through a divorce is difficult and emotionally charged. I mean, let's face it, all of the fighting, the awkwardness and confusion is a hard thing to go through. Especially if you don't know where it will all end up. We have good news for you though. We're legal experts and have been handling our clients mourning and healing process through every step of their divorce and learned a few things along the way. This is a guide full of tips and tricks for how to overcome your divorce and move on to a better part of your life!
Tip 1. Let Yourself Mourn: Our number 1 tip and the most important thing to do after a divorce is to let yourself Mourn - don't run; it isn't worth it. Through our trials and tribulations with clients, we learned that the fastest way to overcome your feelings about your divorce is to "run straight at them". Allow yourself to feel the very appropriate and realistic pain that you're expected to feel after dissolving your marriage. If you do, you'll be forced to face it, and if you face it, you'll stumble on a path that leads to a more peaceful and accepting future. Mourning is necessary post-divorce, so don't run from your feelings. Let yourself mourn.
Tip 2. Work Through Your Feelings: Working through your feelings about your divorce is the second most important thing that you can do. That's because you shouldn't let yourself hold onto painful feelings without fully understanding where they are coming from and why they are there. If you can identify them then you can work through them, and let go of your much appropriate and justified baggage. Doing so will help you move on with your life and open up to a person who might be the right fit for you. Don't hold onto your baggage. Work through your feelings!
Tip 3. Learn To Like Yourself: Hopefully, working through your feelings leads you onto a path that shows you that you're worth liking - because you are. Learning to like yourself again is a very important step in the process of overcoming your feelings about your divorce. We find that a lot of clients blame themselves during their divorce. We often remind our clients that there are two people at fault in any relationship and that it is unfair to only hold themselves accountable. It's not just you. Don't forget that you like yourself!
Tip 4. Rediscover Who You Used To Be: Remembering who you were before your marriage is an important tip, and that's why it ranks as number 4. We all must make sacrifices during marriage. That sometimes means that when our spouse doesn't enjoy the same events that we do, we're obligated to compromise and attend less of them. Although compromising is an important part of a successful marriage, it is important to understand that you are now in a new chapter of your life and that there are things that you wanted to do more of during your marriage but couldn't. Your new chapter is an opportunity for you to rediscover the things that make you you, and that make you happy. Remember what those things are and go do them!
Tip 5. Dare To Be Single: For a long time now, you've been used to being coupled with someone. You may have even forgotten what it feels like to be alone, but don't let that scare you. Being single after a divorce can act as a healing agent that encourages you to develop empowering, independent feelings about yourself that bring peace, self-confidence, and self-love. These feelings are important as they will help you get back on your feet again! Don't scare easily, instead dare powerfully!
Tip 6. Accept Your New Roles & Don't Be Afraid To Make Mistakes: One of the hardest parts post-divorce is realizing that you have new roles to play and accepting them. For example, your ex-spouse could have been the one always managing finances, and now that you don't have him/her, it's your responsibility. That's ok - it's all part of the process. That's why our final tip and piece of advice is this: it is important that you accept your new roles and have the courage to make mistakes. Because mistakes will encourage learning and learning will give you confidence and help you build a new you! Have courage - build a new you!